Current energy regarding connection?
Pulled some cards this morning used the Hermetic Tarot by Godfrey Dowson regarding someone I'm interested in but having a difficult time fully opening myself up to due to past experiences in my life. I pulled cards for my person, myself, and the outcome/future of connection based on current energy. To be clear, I haven't been feeling very hopeful as of late and just wanting to detach even though I feel really pulled in the opposite direction. I literally feel like I'm fighting love and it's the weirdest thing but I understand why.
His current energy regarding connection: ~The Devil, Temperance, Page of Swords
My current energy: ~Queen of Pentacles, 4 of Pentacles, Wheel of Fortune
Outcome/future of connection: ~4 of Cups, 2 of Cups, Knight of Pentacles
My interpretation: For his energy I get a lot of passion but trying really hard to temper that as much as possible instead of indulging in it so it doesn't become obsessive (I totally get that cause I do the same), which is why communication is not really there. I know he keeps and eye on me, but there is like the tiniest bit of actual communication. Very here and there. He's also HEAVY Cap energy with a Cap stellium in the 10th house, so the Devil comes out for him often. I know his career is like priority so him trying to simmer down his feelings to focus on that makes sense.
My energy is pretty spot on. I'm trying to distract myself by focusing on my own career and building a business. It's funny cause the 4 of Pentacles is Sun in Cap and can be about obsession and not letting go. While this could be about my coin, I also get me trying not to be so obsessed with this connection by shifting my focus to building my stability. The wheel of fortune threw me off a bit. I've recently been presented with a new opportunity that could really shift things for me in terms of my financial prosperity, and I'm really excited about that. So that could be what it's referring to. Focusing on all this really helps me detach from the connection, even though thoughts of it still remain present.
Outcome/future energy also threw me off a bit. I feel like currently both of us are seeing this as a missed opportunity for something really wonderful with the 4 of cups. We clicked immediately when we met and everything just felt right, so right that it moved faster than expected in the short time we had with each other. His energy didn't send my nervous system into a panic like past love interests. I felt so comfortable to be me. Felt like home. Not the chaotic one I grew up in, but like the loving and peaceful home I want to build with another person. But it did trigger a lot of stuff I had no idea I was still dealing with. It's like when you grow up being bullied you question people who are nice and genuine because its not whats normal for you. I was literally looking for flaws because he felt too good to be true😔 But things just didn't work out cause of practical matters. With the 2 of Cups and Knight of Pentacles, I feel like this is saying we (or at least me) are only seeing this as a failed attempt because its moving soooooo slowly. Like a snails pace. I mean it went from absolutely no communication to some, so there's progress but man, it's dragging. So much so that I just want to close myself off again and stop giving myself hope that it'll turn into something to save myself some pain. I'm sure I'm just being impatient cause I feel like I've waited a long time for something that feels so real and right. This connection is definitely triggering a lot of inner child healing in me.
Open to second opinions! I pulled some more cards after this that point to movement, but making it clear that progress will be slow