I got death reversed as my outcome when I asked “anything I should know about the situation with my ex”. I already know what I need to do but would love another opinion.

I am new to this and would love some other input.

The deck I use is The Rider Tarot Deck designed by Pamela Colman Smith. I used the Celtic Cross spread.

The question I asked was “what should I know about this connection”.

It’s funny, the cards tell the exact story I am about to tell. I was in a relationship with someone. It was me who ended it, and I hurt him in the end because of something I did that I still have a lot of regret for to this day. I ended it because the relationship turned rocky and I didn’t think I there was hope and my family also had a bit to do with it too. He wanted to work things out but I refused. But a few months later I regretted it. I guess it was somewhat an addictive relationship. But he had already moved back to his home state and then got his dream job opportunity and moved to another state altogether. He told me he wasn’t trying to get back together, at least not anytime soon if at all. I was upset for a very long time and now a year later I sometimes still feel that nagging in my stomach or catch myself thinking about him. I cut all contact for all that time but recently we decided we could still remain distant friends, as we have many mutual friends and acquaintances. I still care for him as a person. He is now in a relationship with someone else and I know it is over and done.

First card – five of cups. This represents me, someone in mourning. This accurately represents how I am feeling, which is abandoned and disappointed. However there is a silver lining, I know is there, it’s just been hard for me to let go.

Second card – page of pentacles. This is what helps or hinders me? And I’m not too sure what to make of this and would love a second opinion. Perhaps it represents me feeling nostalgic for my past.

Third card – the Hierophant, reversed. My conscious thoughts. The third card is always the hardest for me to interpret. This is another one I would appreciate a second interpretation on. Does it mean I consciously wish to break the norms having to do with this connection?

Fourth card – wheel of fortune. My subconscious, or the underlying situation? I interpret this as that things are changing and will continue to change. That time will heal my wounds. I read that the card is associated with the four “fixed” astrological signs, which we both are. I’ve been working on myself and learning to just be grateful for the times we had. “It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all”.

Fifth card – six of pentacles. This is what was, or my past. I’m not really sure how this can 100% represent the past for this situation. But perhaps I was dependent on him in this relationship, however we both helped and supported each other in different ways, I would say equally. Also in the end, hindered.

Sixth card – two of pentacles. This is what is before me, my future. Perhaps it shows I am trying to find balance, that I will find acceptance soon. Maybe a choice will arise. I hope I can be flexible, adaptable and honest with myself about what I want in my future.

Seventh card – six of swords, reversed. My approach, my attitude. I interpret this as that even though I am trying to move on, it’s taking me longer than it “should” to heal. I guess I do feel a little stuck. I am not moving forward despite my attempts to.

Eighth card – six of cups. My environment, outside influence or what I need to know? I’m reading that this card can mean things or people from the past coming up or resurfacing. Or a period of healing. It can also mean reconciliation. I read that the card represents water and Scorpio. Which is what his sign is.

Ninth card – nine of pentacles. My hopes and fears, or my action advice? I want to be able to look back and celebrate the difficulties and obstacles I had to overcome to get to a better, abundant place. I intend to come out of this stronger and wiser. I believe this card is telling me that I should overcome this with beauty and grace. This is how I will get what I want, come out of this triumphant. And once I move on I will be inviting abundance and a very high and positive energy into my life.

Last card – death, reversed. This is my outcome. I interpret this as that even though it I am slow at moving on, things have ended. That I am only prolonging my suffering. I am only prolonging my happiness and success if I keep on this path. I need to embrace this change and see the silver lining (referring to the five of cups, my first card). I am going through a big transformation where I am learning to let go, relearning how to love and how to not hold resentment. I want to live in the now, not the past. I am releasing what no longer serves me and making new space. I wish to improve myself and be the best person I can be. Although I am somewhat slow at working on this so far, I am picking up the pace and a new beginning is coming near. Or in another interpretation: “Be patient with the current circumstances without resigning yourself to a negative outcome. Coming changes may alter the way you feel about the status quo. Remember that harvest isn't started until the fruit is ripe. Work at becoming wiser and more mellow, sweeter and more nourishing, and your time of release may happen sooner”.

Edit: grammar

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Kerrie Mercel

Currently Kerrie Mercel, inspirational speaker, author & facilitator for the health and wellness industry. Kerrie enjoys working with professional business women helping them to find the power to live life on their terms.

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