Interested in getting more in touch with my intuition
Sharing here per a suggestion from someone on the /psychic subreddit where I originally posted:
Hi everyone! I've been interested in getting into Tarot just to get in touch with my own intuition. I've noticed there are various decks available and I was curious if there are specific ones you would recommend for a beginner? Also, I'm curious if I should also purchase a nice cloth to keep them wrapped in?
My only other question is would practicing tarot (with the intent of connecting more with my own intuition) inadvertently open some sort of gateway for negative energy? I've had a lot of odd experiences throughout my life and I've always felt like if I dropped or let down "the wall" that I maintain (out of fear honestly) that it would potentially be a big mistake. I have a six-year-old son that I want to protect. For example, I refuse to entertain the idea of Ouija because I KNOW that has bad juju written all over it and I also refused to put mirrors in my son's room too (the latter may be overkill lol).
I have had experiences in the past (a spirit who I believe now to be my great-grandmother used to stroke my hair as a child (I lived in her house after she passed and I would constantly feel distinct fingers stroking my hair). I for some reason have been able to predict/sense death within a few days before it took place (being overcome with sadness/grief/depression). For example, the week before a co-worker of mine unexpectedly and tragically passed I felt incredibly sad and I had no idea why. Like all week I was just thinking, "Why am I so sad/bummed out?" and just didn't realize it until he died, noticing how I felt at that moment was how I had felt the entire week prior, that what I was feeling that entire time was grief. Almost like my body was trying to warn me that something was going to happen. I avoided the hallway that connected to his office for two weeks afterward and when I finally walked down it I felt like I was literally punched in the gut with sadness and confusion. I walked into a colleague's office (she was very open/spiritual) immediately afterward and told her "This is gonna sound weird but I don't think [coworker's name] has moved on yet" and immediately after I said that we heard three taps near the corner of the ceiling. I went to his funeral and his daughter spoke, this coworker died on her birthday and she stood at the altar in the church upset that she never got a birthday call from him that day (like she got every year from him) and I heard him in my ear "Tell her I'm sorry, tell her I'm sorry, tell her I'm sorry." over and over. Which I did not tell her because I didn't know her and I didn't want to freak her out/upset her. I've had visions (although rare) that have prevented SERIOUS accidents, I've heard my grandmother's voice, I felt my father's frustration in my body while he was on his deathbed in the hospital on life support, I also felt his acceptance shortly before he passed, etc., etc. so just… a LOT of "unusual" stuff has happened to me that I try not to read too much into. I've just always wished I was able to get more from these experiences so I can use them to help people. Like I hated that all I felt was grief before my coworker died, at the time I wished I had received more information somehow to possibly prevent his death. Idk
So yeah, I just somewhat fear accidentally "opening a door" because I don't want my life to turn into the Sixth Sense lol which I know is extreme and obviously a fake movie but you know what I mean. So I've been keeping the intuitive side of myself repressed if that makes any sense. Anyway, just curious about sticking my toe in the water but want to do it in the safest way possible. I've also considered meditating too. For additional background on me, I've always felt very connected to the color violet. Like that tanzanite-ish blue/purple shade which I discovered has spiritual significance. I'm also obsessed with the lotus flower and its symbolism as far as reincarnation and each petal signifying the various lives our soul experiences. Stuff I've always felt inexplicably attracted to then found out later down the road was significant for one reason or another.
Thanks for reading this if you made it to the end! I didn't mean for it to go into that much detail but the memories kind of spilled forth as a wrote about it. Any and all advice/thoughts are welcome!