it is the process of learning, right…

Hello everyone ‍

I’m seeking help with the interpretation of what my cards told me so far…I’m quite new on it,but when things comes to my personal readings for myself , I’m getting lost. I’m going through a horrible heart break and I felt like my cards “comforted me” but I don’t want to see it that way tho, I don’t want to be biased. So my situation is on-off connection. Person that I love said he doesn’t care about me, he is selfish and so on so on after 3 months of good and human relationship ( I even been invited to his house for family celebration). This switch was dreadful and left me like after f boy games. He doesn’t want to cut it off as a break up, but in the same time do not text or speak with me unless I initiate. He said he feel pressure when we talk. We are in lockdown rn, so 2 months passed like that when he said – let’s wait lockdown is over and we will talk face to face. A asked did he even love me? He said the feelings are mutual. But this is so sick situation. How can you love and ghost, this mind game is tiring so , yesterday I energetically got feed up of it. My epic pain was month ago, yesterday I only had a dull one and felt that my energy shifted. I set with my cards that long so they got warm in my hands, I hesitated , because first time I finally felt I’m energetically pulling away from my ex/current/ nobody ( this is how I call that boy now).

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So I gave a spreed and my dec gave me this:

1st line: Queen of Wands , 3 of Swards Reversed (rx), Chariot Rx.

2nd down line : King of Swards, Strength , 8 of Wands.

3d down line : Empress, The Sun, 9 of Wands rx.

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I felt like the first line is me : Queen is very nurturing, as mother figure …that what I was in that relationship. 3 of swards…well, the pain I had month ago now is going away, I’m healing and it’s somehow true. But rx Chariot? Luck of direction. (?) Or Am I moving on slower then I wanted to…

The second line is tricky for me. King of swords , Cold and distance man figure who hide emotions it’s defiantly my ex. But the Strength and 8 of wands near, is it about upcoming communication? Reconciliation? Or it’s just…he move on so rapid already ? Or is it me…becoming distant and kind of leaving everything behind , finding strength and clarity?

3d line is a mystery for me. The empress and sun such beautiful combination, defiantly not what I experience now. And 9 of wands , I’m not fighting for this love anymore, I let it flow…I will let it flow to become the empress . Sorry, maybe I’m messed up everything here. I set nearly hour and a lot of things came to my mind but I’m afraid I’m so wrapped in my own feelings and pain so I may be very blinded to what cards told me about my situation.