I’ve always been a skeptic, but the consistency of my readings over recent years has me a bit thrown tbh.

I have never connected with the metaphysical. Not for lack of trying— Dan Brown sucks, but this quote describes it perfectly: "Faith is a gift I have yet to receive." I've definitely had some strange occurrences pop up, but I was never really swayed.

Buuuuut it looks like I may be experiencing my first modicum of doubt after noticing that my pulls have been scarily consistent over the last two or so years. Across multiple readings on the same topics, I've come out with similar, if not identical, pulls. Most that don't, end up tying near perfectly into previous readings.

Example: I started a new relationship around a year and a half ago with someone I am madly in love with. It's been stupid, storybook perfect. But I'm riddled with mental health issues and have, in the past, suddenly lost all interest in relationships for no discernable reason. I've done several readings on this one, on average three months apart.

Here's one performed last night (Deck is buboplague's Yokai Yochi, it is absolutely stunning)

First, a card to represent me: Seven of swords reversed. ~6 months ago, when I first asked this, I pulled Five of Cups. Put together, these feel perfectly matched. I can't just enjoy things because I'm terrified that all the feelings will vanish one day, sometimes to the point of severe depression. I don't know why it happens, so I've hesitated on major steps in fear of somehow triggering it.

Second, a card for them. In this case, two because they hopped out together, but the Queen of Cups is the most notable. Of three total asks, I've pulled Queens twice. First time, the Lovers. Accepting, supportive, compassionate, empathetic, intuitive— all understatements. Not afraid to call me out on bad decisions or remind me of things I should be doing, but never forceful or stifling. The Lovers now seems like it was saying, "They're your choice— choose them and this is what awaits."

Third, our current state, King of Coins. Honestly, I've asked this too many times to list briefly, but over time they've held to a theme of strong connection, compatibility, and stability. This question has been the source of many "wow that's weirdly relevant/accurate to this moment" pulls too.

Finally: what should I be mindful of when trying to cope with my fears? Queen of Swords. I've only asked this specifically once, but I have asked what I can do to encourage longevity a few times before, and keeping a clear mind, being mindful of ebbs and flows, and more generally just getting out of my own way have appeared as themes four out of five times. The Queen of Swords is actually among them.

This explanation is truncated & leaves out a lot, and maybe my interpretations are wonky. I have a degree in Literature so I'm confident in my ability lmao, but confirmation bias is a big concern among others. Still, it freaks me out how consistent these have been, even using several different decks, shuffling obsessively, and closely reevaluating my interpretations. And this holds on other topics too, this is just the best sample.

I'm not sure where this leaves me. My world isn't shifting or anything. But I guess my new approach will just be not writing it off lol. Idk.

Sorry for the long post, I don't have anyone irl to dump this on (-:

edit: occurred to me that I should probably clarify that I read secularly/using tarot as an introspection tool and usually don't ask things specifically focused on other people but also I'm weak haha

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Kerrie Mercel

Currently Kerrie Mercel, inspirational speaker, author & facilitator for the health and wellness industry. Kerrie enjoys working with professional business women helping them to find the power to live life on their terms.