Practice spread turned out to be very relevant to me–thoughts?
Hi there, I have been reading tarot for myself and occasionally others, on and off for two or three years. I'd say I'm fairly decent at it, but I don't do it very often as I get caught between a dilemma of not wanting to treat tarot too casually or come to rely on it, and not wanting to read it for serious life-altering decisions in my own life, in case I see a card that worries me. In these cases it really messes with my intuition and I tend to take the worst case scenario as the only possible meaning of that situation. This causes me to doubt myself and the validity of my reading, and I become quite indecisive and anxious until I can forget about the reading entirely. Doing the reading aloud as though it is for someone else I don't know tends to help but doesn't fix this problem entirely.
Fast forward to today. I have recently come to understand that my personal path of developing spiritually, and moving forward in my life materially, requires me to become much better at using and developing my intuition.
I am mainly focusing on meditation, chakra work, and paying more attention in general, but to supplement this I figured getting more experience with divinatory systems as channels for my own intuition would likely be very helpful.
Yesterday I decided to do a practice spread just to practice my interpretation skills, and did not focus on any particular question while shuffling etc, nor did I think very hard about which cards to use in what positions. As I read the cards for my imaginary querent, it became more and more obvious to me that this reading was very accurate to my own situation. There were references to some very specific situations in my own life that I didn't even pick up on until I had moved on to a few other cards. There were some negative "consequence" cards however that I don't fully understand, so my reading as a whole is incomplete.
My question isn't so much should I follow the advice I got, since I believe good advice is good advice wherever it is found. But rather–what happened here? In the absence of a real person to read for and a specific question in mind, was my subconscious intuition just filling in the blanks when it came time to pull cards and make meaning out of them? Or was something else going on? Has anyone else experienced this during practice readings for fake clients?
Side question: how do you fix a tendency to interpret dire meanings out of cards? Whenever I go back and look at my old tarot readings these negative consequences seemed fairly realistic but they really don't seem to have happened at all. How do I learn from this? Do you have any tips and tricks for being more accurate with cards that freak you out?
Thanks in advance, any advice, stories, discussion is greatly appreciated.