Tarot’s glaring red signs

I’m sure no one on this sub is a stranger to this experience but I don’t have anyone in my life to share this with, so I figured I’d post it here.

I’ve only been reading Tarot for a couple years, doing cartomancy for a couple before that, but from the first time I ever read I’ve had so many moments that felt so… not coincidental? I’m a skeptic by heart, but never has anything made me feel as spiritual or connected as tarot. So often do the cards align in a way that couldn’t be more accurate if I went through the deck and hand picked them myself. So often, too, does my deck sit back with its hands crossed, like an old friend that knows I know better.

A recent example being that currently I’m at a crossroads in my love life. I’ve been in a long distance, long-term relationship while in college, and on paper everything is perfect. We have everything in common, we both love each other, we want the same things out of life. But in reality it’s always felt like there’s something missing. We have a lot of small arguments, constant misunderstandings, it feels like he doesn’t fully listen to me in conversation and his emotional response when I’m upset is off-puttingly apathetic. But we’ve been together for years, we have our beautiful past and intricately planned future, and we care about each other so much.

Now, I’m in college, and I start becoming better friends with a guy. We have the same sense of humor, he’s the smartest man I’ve ever met, and he has a level of emotional intelligence I’d started to believe was mythical. He listens intently to everything I say, and empathizes so deeply. He’s profoundly kind in a way that comes so naturally to him. I’m sure anyone can see where this is going.

I tried to keep the lines from blurring, but intrusive thoughts won out; I realized I’d been cutting my partner slack in ways I didn’t have to. Even if I didn’t end up in a relationship with my friend, I’ve started to realize that it isn’t an impossible request to want someone to listen and empathize with you. And I don’t think our styles of love are as compatible as I once thought.

But I keep going back and forth; some days I criticize myself for not being loyal, and falling into such a cliche trap of going away and falling in love when I have a guaranteed stable relationship right here. Other days I feel like I’d want to end things now whether I ended up with my friend or not; even if I were disappointed, I can’t unsee the holes in my current relationship. But then, would I be able to handle it if I ended up on my own? I’m heading for a really tough process, away from a relationship that’s damn near everything I could want, but that I don’t see as fulfilling anymore.

So, about a month ago, as I do when I’m in a situation I can’t stop arguing with myself over, I turn to tarot. What card do I draw? Eight of cups, of course. I don’t think I could’ve picked a better card myself. It’s literally exactly what I’ve described; leaving what looks like a perfect situation because you can see things missing, even though you’re facing a difficult road ahead, and others may not understand.

Today I’m feeling similarly indecisive, so I get out my tarot deck again. I flip through all the cards first, just as a way to say hey, I haven’t read in a while, what’s up. What’s the last card in the deck? Eight of cups.

I spend probably ten minutes shuffling, just enjoying the experience of being with the cards again, waiting for the right one to jump out. One finally does; what card is it?

Eight of cups.

The only way this message could get any clearer is if someone lit up a bright neon sign in front of my face. It’s almost funny sometimes, the way tarot refuses to let us see the cards as a coincidence to dismiss.

What are y’alls stories of tarot refusing to back down until you got the message?

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Kerrie Mercel

Currently Kerrie Mercel, inspirational speaker, author & facilitator for the health and wellness industry. Kerrie enjoys working with professional business women helping them to find the power to live life on their terms.

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